balance & binaries & church finding

Finding oneself in the middle in a world of binaries is a frustrating one. 

It gives me a superiority complex that I need to confess, because I feel intellectual and open-minded with these convictions ("I'm obviously a better critical thinker than all you sheep"). I also need to confess a certain desire to oppose many values I grew up with out of a streak of rebellion I still haven't grown out of. I enjoy not identifying too closely with particular thought groups (liberal vs conservative, evangelical vs progressivism, etc), picking and choosing where I think each gets things right and where they fall short. 

The current struggle with this is finding a church. I have been attending my current church for six years, ever since I moved to my current city. It's not cutting it for me anymore. There are many reasons for this that have been stacking up slowly, but now as I look forward to trying to find something new, I am confronted with a world obsessed with easy answers and black-and-white thinking. I feel this is truest in politics and church, and especially bad in politically motivated churches.

Can I find a church that allows women pastors, yet isn't so progressive that biblical authority isn't taken seriously?

Can I find a church that supports the pro life movement and doesn't demonize those who don't? One that isn't tearing each other apart over this? Who is actively supporting single mothers, and very obviously known for extending love to those who have gone through it?

Can I find a church with a thriving community for singles?

Can I find a church that isn't obsessed over girls' modesty, doesn't take it upon themselves to police their dating lives, holds men accountable, sees youth as active and valuable members of the congregation not to be relegated to their age groups, doesn't limit the roles women and young girls can fill? 

Can I find a church that would accept if I proposed a discussions group on hard topics and debated on things not everyone will agree with? 

Can I find a church known for loving its LGBTQ members and listening to them, even if they aren't affirming?

Can I find a church where questions can be asked and taken seriously, not explained away with Christian platitudes?

And can I find a place where I can look past differences in some second or third tier issues and be at peace knowing that we're all trying to do our best? In which of these issues should I be able to compromise guilt-free? 

It's a difficult world of binaries when I seek mostly balance.